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Sep. 15th, 2009

i know im not fat

but this whole looking fatt(er) really irks me.
out of control.

Sep. 12th, 2009

(no subject)

today i smoked a $1 wine cigar courtesy of Nadia Alhaj
and me being totally cool, was totally inhaling.
oh yes, i was in pain.

i finished like half of it and was like uh, no way man, cant take this.

maybe i will buy another one on monday.
and share half with susan.
and not inhale, yes good idea.


ive been so busy with school and trying to stay on top of things
esp, organization. i have had no time to canoodle with myspace and/or lj.
this is, indeed, a very good thing.
less time on the computer means a better quality of living.

uhhhh me and phillipe?

yeah, it used to be that everything in the world would get in between us being together.
now that those obstacles are overcome, its like
everything inside ourselves keeps us from being together.
the problem has shifted from being an outward force to something internal.
and it sucks because somehow we still love eachother and want to be together.
but at the same time...not?

oh darn.

well anyways, i really love anthony green and his acoustic stuff on avalon.
just saying, for the thousandth time.
im really bad at math, i failed my first pop quiz even though i did the hw.
im getting kind of overwhelmed.

oh yeah, the other day i like flipped out at work.
at this one girl who i really dont like, because she is annoying as F.
and just, because i was really super stressed.
i sound like a  B WORD, but im really not.
im so chill all the time, it was just a weird day.

we are probably going to lose our house.
i just really hope we find a way to pay for my brothers tuition.

i am going to do my best not to worry.
not to lose heart, not to lose faith.
God has a way in our lives, that we cannot control and/or understand for the most part.
but faith can move mountains.
and Jesus is on my side.

i feel like im the only one who even believes anymore.
everyone has become so secularized.
by a liar.

*****just because your life is going alright, doesnt meant that you dont need God.
*****your pride blinds you; you are small, and nothing is truly in your control other than choosing whether to do good or to sin.
         so chill out, big shot.
*****material possesions will not ever matter, the only thing that will fill your soul is being close to the Lord, being spiritual. 

i dont see how people dont get it.
im so fed up with your arrogance.

Aug. 29th, 2009

(no subject)

its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice.

i just sold my first scoodie(scarf/hood), and i have another customer waiting on my next one.
and i gotta find the material asap so i can make this nasty before the detroit craft fair.

God makes me feel so at peace with everything, He is the Joy in my life.
even when i think that my world is literally ending, i am happy through Christ.

Aug. 27th, 2009


today i felt like blowing my brains out.

i had such an emotional ache in my body.
i just wanted to explode, literally, as in blow up.

its stupid.

i was driving, and i felt like flying into a million other cars.
being nothing.

a lot of the times, i just want to be nothing. thats it.

Aug. 24th, 2009


in an earlier entry, i had stated that i love sigur ros more than circa survive.

that was a fluke, i lied. i love circa survive/anthony green forever more than any band.
i dont care whatchyu think.

sigur ros is more talented, but not more enjoyable.

as for my life, not much has been going on as of late.
me and phillipe are kind of on again?
or something.
he is just a wonderful person, that i need in my life.
as i have stated before.

schools going to start soon.

here we go!

Jul. 28th, 2009


i feel really renewed.
my church retreat was in pennsylvania and it was seriously in the middle of nowhere.
but it was a beautiful nowhere at that.

when we arrived i was like, "oh God what did i get myself into..."
and as the week progressed, every day was jam packed with events.
we had a time to get spiritual and close to Jesus.
which was excellent, i felt so alive!
we had time to get to know eachother.
and we had time to play and hike and eat and party.

you would think that parties at a church camp are really lame.
thats what i thought at least, i was dreading it.
but it ended up being the best and funnest time all summer so far!

i felt like my soul was just refreshed and i was so genuinely happy.
i met all these people who, no offense, i wouldnt really associate with otherwise.
they were all just random, regular looking people from all over america.
and they ended up being some of the best people i have ever ever met.
and you would be surprised the things that these people have went through!
and how we opened up to eachother so quickly with such trust!
it broadened my perspective on people in general.
and i think it made me kinder.
im not such an ignorant scene fag anymore.


i wouldnt expect you to understand, im just happy!!!!!

Jul. 21st, 2009

in da farm w/da scarzy ghost

soooooo update, HOLLAAArrr~!!!

four days ago, sabrina fiacco came over my house and we chillaxxxxed.
we went to phillips house, got tea and chilled in his gorgeous backyard.
the christmas lights on the trees were a fabulous addition to a fancy schmancy night.

three days ago i went to orientation for wayne.
it was boring and nobody was that cool. or interesting.
but i met this nice romanian girl, cool.
and uh my classes:

honors bio 1510
honors philosophy
honors art history
math 1800 (precalc)

pretty easy for sure.

um, two days ago i went to kyles grad party that was pretty nice. the green beans were so legitimate.
the country music was not.
and about ten minutes after i got there, i went to lauren's house.
oh dang, i never DONT have fun with her. she is my sister. and she is a BO$$$$y momma.
so it was me her danielle kaity and sam and we went out on the top of her neighbors farmy barn thing.
and it was soooo beautiful and pitch black outside. and it was so fun.
GNO GNO GNO GNO, needs to happen again soon, ladiezzz.
definately scary though, haunted happenings were about to go down.
good thing i booked it early.

, well i cant remember.
oh yeah i went to another grad party, my friend ninas.
and it was all classy and delicious.
i had a ton of italian food. good sausage&pepper.
awesome, for sure.
oh yes and sam and kaity joined me!
always good.

tomorrow morning, peace out little glove. mitten, whatever.
im moving on to bigger, brighter places.
pennsylvania state for a whole wide week.

Jul. 17th, 2009

my wish

is to be born just a couple of years earlier so i could actually be in the good scene when it was really at its peak.
like when forever ending was popular or when chiodos were still the chiodos bros.
or something, when music was good.

today was good it was the finale of my vacation bible school week!
and then i went to work, and then sabrina came over.
and then we went over phillips house and had tea out in his nice backyard.
thats all it was fun!

Jul. 16th, 2009


well this week has been pretty cool.
ive been hanging out with phillip and my brother a lot.
and also going to vacation bible school and helping out on the days i can!

me and phillipe need to be on good terms.
it seems impossible.
but i really care about him as a person.

today i went to a certain shop, which shall not be named.
lets just say its resale clothing.
i keep my top shop spots top secret.
you know, just in case some people wanta cop my style.

anyhow, well i scored an unused, $120 floral blue top from French Connection for $12.
i also got a navy double breasted cardigan from American Apparel for $10.
i also got an unused top from Levi's for $8.
i also got an unused navy sailor top from Gap for $10.
i also got a wild print, unused Forever 21 top for $6.

total= $48
real market value=$250

I LOVE GOD!!!!! 

^my goal in life is to look that cool.

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