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Mar. 6th, 2010


the day after my last entry, God really showed me what was up.
He needed to be number ONE in my life.
not two three four or anywhere that i was putting Him.
but first place.

a series of bad events happened.
i got in trouble for cheating on my practical that i stayed up all night for, even though i didnt cheat at all. i was threatened to be expelled from the university and the least they could do was give me a zero. they were doing me a favor.

so i cried.
and then i went home to see that jake's sister died.
that made me cry a lot more.
i only met her barely sort of the week before.
she smiled at me. that was it.

but she was a pretty girl.
and he loved her so much.
and the way they acted with one another embodies what love should be like.
that is how every family should act like.
but she is with Jesus, and He will take care of their family.
i just know it.

i tried to contact him and be a good friend, even though we havent been friends for long.
i went to the viewing, it was sad.
the next morning, today, this morning..
i went to her mass at St.John Vianney,
it was a really beautiful mass.
i just really hope they actually understood the momentum of God's presence there.
i hope that all those atheists and unbelievers were touched by God.
and touched by God through lauren.
thats what the priest was talking about.

God is present everywhere.
He finds a way flourish Graces and Blessings even out of tragedy.
especially out of tragedy.
it reminds us that we are small.

Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

His yoke is easy, His burden is light.
nothing phases me when I am in Christ, and Christ is in me.

this was a really religious post.
im glad.

Mar. 3rd, 2010

life update

its almost five in the morning.
i have to start getting ready around seven.
be at school at 8.
take my motherfucking lab exam at 8:30.
take another motherfucking lab exam at 3:00.
im really looking forward to it :]

me and phillip dated for around 6 months.
it was really good.
we broke up, now we are friends.
we are so weird all the time.
i really love him and i really want to be close with him so much.
at least that is always consistent.

last semester in school was pretty damn hard.
this semester is a little easier.
im only taking three classes, one being online.
my cousin mena lives with me now during the weekdays.
it is awesome!
we have fun all the time.
i enjoy her company.
she is going to LA next year for pharmacy school.
that is so awesome.
Thank God, He is turning her life around so much.
He is such a good God.
I love Jesus.

I haven't been feeling very close to Him lately.
I really want to feel Him.
I wish that people could understand the Love He has for them.
it is so incredible.

i am beginning to have a new crush on a new boy.
his name is jake, he is really cool.
he dresses well, listens well, speaks well, laughs well, looks well.
im going to try not to like him.
he has a girlfriend who he loves.
if i like him im bound to get hurt.
if we end up getting anywhere, it will hurt his relationship.
and his life altogether, since they seem pretty inseperable.
but when we hangout, its just the best time ever.
and i think that is why i like him.

Nov. 10th, 2009

lurid carnage

this picture embodies how i feel most of the time.
oh yes, and that is my best friend.

Oct. 26th, 2009

all the material possessions i want for today.

about last month, maybe longer ago, i bought a really similar pair of boots to these balenciagas.

i am so happy about this purchase. i got them at aldo, where i now work (before i got the job!) for $80. its a good thing i found the similar style because the second i saw those boots for balenciaga in 2008, omg i was in love.

in 2006, i saw the booties (which i have posted earlier) and i just died of lust for them.
wanna see em on marykate and ashley olsen? okiee~!!!

so check out this comme des garcons jacket i wanta buy off ebay for like fifty bucks!
i dont know if its for men or women, its probably androgynous so whatevv

i might bid on this balenciaga lightweight jacket (can you tell im obsessed?)
its at 10 dollars right now :O

on a further note, rick owens is my other favorite designer for the time being.
balmains cool, rodarte is cool, vena cava's kickin..but rick owens is just above and beyond. the outlook i have on design is just so in tune with his stuff. we are on the same page for sure. i mean, okay, hes goth. theres nothing wrong with that, i love that.

look at this jacket, i wish i could afford it. so lush. anybody want it? ebay for $1700


Oct. 23rd, 2009

love loves you

neither death, nor life, no angel, no prince,
nothing that exists, nothing still to come,
not any power, or height or depth,
nor any created thing,
will ever come3 to separate me from You,
I vow to remain faithful to You;
this is my solemn vow;
help me keep this vow forever and ever;

bring me back to you, Lord.
i am lost without you.


Oct. 21st, 2009

so me and drew were studying...

and this is what we got accopmlished!

so embarressing, good thing nobody reads this LJ.

Oct. 13th, 2009

ohai its lyke 3am

and im just chillin here stu stu studyinnn
did i stu stu stutter

yeah, idk, im tired maynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne.

anyways, yesterday morning i went to tropicana (which is like a country inn breakfast place)with phillipe and it was like OFF SCOT EFFIN GOOD. <------------(lol)

the night b4 we had gone to dennys which is pretty lame...but i had fun.
i mean he was totally hating it cus i was just bouncing off the walls being a psycho.
and i didnt know he was bothered i was just having fun, but yeah. it ended up kinda weirdo.
it got better eventually i guess cus the next mornin we ended up going to another diner.

yeah NE WAYZ i did havs a ludda fun w, da phill meister and gezss watt? he iz my BEST FRAN


Oct. 3rd, 2009



a whole FIVE of my albums are on pitchforkmedia's top 20 albums of the 2000s.

that means i have 1/4 of the greatest taste in music, at least according to pitchfork.

20. interpol-turn on the bright lights
8.sigur ros-agaetis byrjun (at least i think i have this?)
7.the strokes-is this it
6.modest mouse-the moon and antarctica
2.arcade fire-funeral


#1 was radiohead's kid A

i never really could get into radiohead for some reason.

Oct. 1st, 2009

i cant wait to actually go to fashion week

and be immersed in the society.
not that i want to be totally full of myself or whatevvv,
i just love clothes, and i love when people wear them well.
i dont know what my problem is, it just turns me onnnn.
today this kid in my art history class told me i should be an artist, cus my doodles on my notebook are "effin sickkkkk"
i was like uh, thanks man, rock on.

Sep. 26th, 2009

(no subject)

so within the past couple of years i have had crushes on multiple people.
and as i look back on all of the boys i have liked, i want to throw up.
they are friken sick.
what is wrong with me.

i need higher standards.

exception being phillipe,he is perfect in every way.

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